Why is my tongue always out??

I was rescued from a Puppy Mill in North Carolina in 2011 and brought to NYC where I was adopted by my famous Dad and my stage Mom. Oh, and my sister Muppet. My mouth used to smell like what I imagine actual hell smells like until all my rotten teeth were removed.  Now I am toothless and I look like a cute hobo. 

What is a Puppy Mill?

Puppy Mills supply 99.99999999% of all dogs that are found in any pet store or online shop. The owners of these businesses over-breed the mothers and fathers then discard them with no regard for health or happiness. A total downer, but true.  So, if you want to get a dog, please adopt one. If you are a heartless monster, at least make sure to go to a breeder who does so responsibly. Muppet and I are both former puppy mill breeding dogs.


What do I eat?

Everything. Anything. My jaws could crush a can. On the day-to-day I prefer a mix of soft and hard food per my Vets recommendation. 

I also love tacos. LOVE THEM.


How old am I?

Ageless. Like Pharrell. 


Does my Tongue get dry?

YES, are you crazy? If you find anyone who makes a tongue moisturizer, PLEASE tell me. Until then, I have to stick with having fresh water near me at all times.